Bras that don't fit

"Finally, a Bra Collection Designed Exclusively for A&B Cups" reads the ad for a Glamorise bra. They listed some hard-to-find sizes, including 42A and 44A. I haven't seen these in the store but found it online and decided to order one.

Well, it arrived today and I was disappointed. The cup is bigger than it should be. I'll send it back for a refund, and of course there is no smaller cup in a 44 band length.

Cup sizes are funny. Every size guide I've seen says something like this: "Subtract your band measurement from your bust measurement; each inch represents a cup size." HA! Not if your band size is over 38 inches. Once you pass that magic number, the cups sizes increase. I haven't figured out the exact formula but a B cup in a 42 or 44 equals about a D cup in a 38. And very very few models come in an 44A or 42A or even a 40A.

Some years ago I got tired of adding elastic extenders to the back of my bras so I went to a fancy lingerie shop and got professionally fitted. The clerk said I wear a 38C. "That'll be too tight," I protested. But I tried one on, and of course, it was so tight it dug into my rib cage.

"Well, some people just don't like wearing a bra," she opined.

"Not me! I just don't like feeling pinched."

"Maybe we can order a mastectomy bra that would fit you," she said.

But they were very expensive and there was no guarantee they would fit. I kept on wearing extenders until my skin got irritated from the chafing of the elastic (or maybe from the latex). And the straps kept slipping because the extra couple of inches in the back made them too far apart on my shoulders.

Finally I started ordering custom-sized bras from Decent Exposures and from a Chinese vendor on ebay. But neither gave the look I wanted. Well, guess I'm stuck for now. I could keep the faux-A cup bra that I just got and pad the heck out of it, but I really don't want to add look BIG or unnatural. I'm already plump enough!

There are some sport bras that fit me, sort of. But they have what a friend calls the uni-boob look: a single lump all the way across the chest, kind of squashed into a roll.

Well, I guess I'll order another model from Decent Exposures. They not only sew to your specific size, they will take the bra back and adjust it if needed. And I like the latex-free option and the fact that the elastic is covered so it doesn't irritate my skin. I just wish their bras gave a bit more lift and had more thickness.